As our time in Cushing is quickly coming to a close, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on some of the lessons I’ve learned over the past 2 1/2 years. I have grown a lot and I am a better husband, father, pastor and friend because of my time here.
LESSONS LEARNED IN RURALITY
1. There are a lot of things I’m NOT good at and a few things that I am.
I am a good starter, visionary, and communicator (preaching, teaching and writing). I am good at identifying peoples’ gifts, skills and leadership abilities and the lack thereof. I do a good job of delegating if there are people with the gifts, skills and abilities to accomplish the tasks.
I am NOT good at pastoral care, visitations, church politics and maintaining the status quo. Although I have tons of good ideas and vision, I often struggle to implement them. I am NOT a good faker. What you see is pretty much how I feel. I love people and highly value community, but I am not a good relater. I struggle with small talk. I wish I was more outgoing. The weather (like yesterday’s rain) highly effects my mood and makes me crabby and unproductive.
2. I can’t be a part of a church that is more concerned with their past than their future.
I am a visionary. Plain and simple. I don’t care where you’ve been. I just want to know where we’re going. I can paint the picture, chart the course and lead the charge. But I’m not going to keep stopping the ship so you can reminisce about how wonderful the past was.
As John F. Kennedy said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.”
3. Even in a painfully small community like Cushing (pop. 65) there is a tremendous amount of spiritually hungry people and an incredible opportunity to reach people with the Good News of Jesus Christ.
In my time here God has really opened my eyes and heart to the tremendous opportunities in town and country ministry. In Cushing we grew from 20 to 80 people in less than a year – mostly with unchurched and de-churched seekers. I believe town-and-country ministry is a spiritual hotbed, much like the suburbs were 20 years ago. The population to draw from is smaller and the income levels are less, but people are really hungry for change – for something that is REAL and RELEVANT. There is tremendous potential for church planting in the outstate areas.
4. Church systems can be like the Mafia.
No matter whether it’s right or wrong, good or evil, godly or ungodly – you simply don’t go against the ruling family.
5. Just because people see the need for change doesn’t mean they will change.
I naively thought that if I made a carefully calculated case for change from Scripture, history, culture, logic, common sense, conventional wisdom, etc. that people would then actually change. How wrong I was! I learned that I can have the best plans and strategies, cast an amazing vision, be an incredible Bible teacher, etc. but only God can change peoples’ hearts.
Change is hard and many people will never do it, no matter how obvious it is. I did everything I could to help them, but in the end they simply didn’t want it.
6. Never underestimate the ability of a small disgruntled minority to ruin a good thing for the happy majority.
It’s hard to believe that 5 people can ruin it for the other 75, but they can. But only because the others let them. The only power the minority has is the power the majority gives them (see #4 above). Unfortunately, the minority can quickly wear down the majority with their insidious behaviors and tactics, but they still only win when we grow tired of fighting. I don’t advocate fighting. I advocate excommunication. Either row in the same direction as everyone else or we’ll throw you out of the boat!
7. My intuition is almost always right.
I am still learning to fully trust my intuition – which I consider to be the Holy Spirit – but in almost every case that “gut feeling” I have is right – even if it goes against conventional wisdom, logic or my best hopes. Every time I don’t listen to it, I regret it. But my greatest challenge as an intuitive leader is not convincing myself, but convincing others that my gut is right. Hopefully that comes with time and trust.
8. I could never be the pastor.
Given the things above, there is a “watchdog” mentality that keeps everyone and everything new at arms length – including the pastor. I could be the employee, the chaplain, the son (or grandson), but never the pastor. There is no true trust, submission or respect of the person in the pastoral office.
It is interesting to me that no company would hire a CEO and then tell him/her exactly what they’d like him to do, how and when and subject every idea to their scrutiny. Yet, that’s how a lot of these churches treat their pastors. CEOs are hired to lead and so are pastors. Leaders must be allowed to lead. Good leaders go where good leadership is supported.
Churches that don’t follow good leadership will find themselves without good leadership…
9. I have no regrets
I have no regrets about coming to Cushing. I have no regrets about how I led or even what the results were. Perhaps it seems arrogant, but I can’t say if given the opportunity that I’d do anything different (see #5 above). I was obedient to God and did everything He asked of me. I can’t have any regrets about that.
