I always have this sort of “holy discontent” after Big Days. Easter weekend at Epiphany Station was amazing! We asked God for 400 people and we came up just shy with 390 which just totally obliterated our previous attendance record of 279. I’m sure there were at least another 10 people tuning in online (waiting for the stats on that). We baptized 6 people – for the first time ever inside the Station – and it was powerful! The band was amazing – playing all four services with energy and passion! Our volunteers were unbelievable – doing whatever was necessary with a joyful heart! I know from the feedback I’ve heard that many people were impacted by the services. It was a very powerful, moving, and exhausting weekend all around.
So why do I feel so discontented? Bill Hybels has written a book called Holy Discontent, which for the record, I have not read. But I certainly understand the idea. It’s the feeling that visionaries have that although things are good, they could be so much better. That although God is moving, He could – and wants to – do so much more. I think visionaries in particular feel this “holy discontent” often because rarely do things measure up to the vision God has given them. God-given vision, by definition, is unattainable without God’s supernatural blessing and guidance. God-given vision is BIG. And anything short of attaining it just won’t do. Holy discontent.
Holy discontent is good and bad. It is good because we should long for the things that God longs for. We shouldn’t be content to settle for anything less than what God has called us to do. Holy discontent, as Hybels says, “fuels the fire that ignites vision.” It is what keeps visionaries “visioneering.” We are not content to settle for anything less than what God wants to do.
But it can have a darkside, too. Holy discontent can be perceived as negativity. “Why can’t you just be happy with the results?” visionaries are often asked. That is a word of caution. It’s not that we’re not happy with the results, it’s just that so frequently the results fall short of what we envision God doing. But because of that, we struggle to take time to pause and reflect on what God has done before moving on to what God can do. In this way we can fail to give God the praise and glory He deserves.
Today I feel holy discontent because as I do reflect on the record attendance of this past weekend, I can’t help but asking, “so what?” I am thrilled with the nearly 400 people who heard the Good News, experienced Spirit-empowered worship, and were embraced in authentic Christian community. But my thoughts are focused in on the fact that not a single faith commitment was made that I know of and we only received a couple (literally) communication cards from first-time guests. I praise God for the crowds, the baptisms, and for our amazing volunteers and staff! But so what? What does it all matter if people aren’t being drawn toward Christ? Aren’t being transformed by the Spirit? Aren’t compelled to come back next week to experience more? This is what my heart hones in on. Holy discontent.
This is the fuel that ignites God-given vision. Praise God for 400 people! But God has given [e]stat a vision of embracing thousands of outsiders and anything short of that will always fuel feelings of discontent. God has given us a vision of 100 commitments to Christ this year, and anything less than that just won’t do. And so I will keep on seeking. Keep on asking. Keep on knocking. Until the floodgates are opened.